go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
