I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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