You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
