We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
