I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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