Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
