I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize