I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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