Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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