my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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