my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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