ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
