so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My life is pants optional.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
