adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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