epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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