i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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