so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
