You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
