member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize