my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
