We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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