I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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