Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
