i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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