best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
