I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize