Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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