she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
