At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize