Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
