no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
