I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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