I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
