We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just found puke in my bra..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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