You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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