Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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