There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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