Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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