just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
