yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
