i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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