I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
