but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
