Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
