You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize