Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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