He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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