You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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