Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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