Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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