FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
