Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize