You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
