Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
