and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
