I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
