Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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