Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
